August Is Grief Awareness Month: How Grief Shaped My Life

By Samantha Harrykissoon, After Loss Professional & Grief Survivor

Published 2026-08-26 by Navigate After Loss

August Is Grief Awareness Month: How Grief Shaped My Life

There is something strange about grief that I didn't understand until I lived it: people can see that you've survived the loss long before they understand that you're still living with it. By August, the world is already talking about back-to-school, vacations winding down, and getting ready for fall. But for those of us who have lost someone we love, certain months, seasons, dates, and ordinary moments can carry an entirely different weight. Grief doesn't always announce itself. Sometimes it sits quietly beside you while you go about your day. Sometimes it catches you completely off guard.

This August, during Grief Awareness Month, I find myself thinking less about the moment my life changed and more about everything that came after it. The parts no one prepares you for. The ways grief changes as you change. The strange experience of building a life that can hold both profound loss and unexpected moments of happiness. And the realization that navigating grief isn't about leaving someone behind—it's about learning how to carry their absence while continuing to live.

Grief Is Not Just Sadness

For a long time, I thought grief would mostly feel like sadness. It doesn't. Grief can be anger, loneliness, confusion, exhaustion, resentment, and even guilt. You can feel relieved to have a good day and then feel guilty for having enjoyed it. You can laugh at something and suddenly remember the person who should have been there to laugh with you. You can feel completely fine in the morning and fall apart over something seemingly insignificant that afternoon. Grief is complicated because love is complicated. When you lose someone who mattered deeply to you, you're not simply mourning their absence. You're mourning conversations you won't have, experiences you won't share, milestones they won't see, and a future that will never happen the way you imagined it. There is no neat box for all of that.

Grief Changes as We Change

One of the biggest misconceptions about grief is that time simply makes it disappear.

That’s not how it works. Time changes you. You learn things you never wanted to learn. You become familiar with anniversaries and difficult dates. You figure out how to answer questions you never imagined being asked. You learn which memories make you smile and which ones still take your breath away. And eventually, you discover that you can have a good life and still deeply miss the person who isn't here to share it. That's an important distinction. Healing doesn't require forgetting. Moving forward doesn't mean leaving someone behind. And happiness isn't a betrayal of the person you lost.

Sometimes the Smallest Things Hurt the Most

People often expect grief to be triggered by the big moments—birthdays, anniversaries, holidays. Those moments can certainly hurt. But sometimes it's something incredibly ordinary. A song in the grocery store. A favorite food. A familiar phrase. Seeing someone wearing the same jacket. Driving past a place you used to go together. Receiving something in the mail that was meant for them. Those moments can stop you in your tracks. And after years of grief, they can still happen. I've learned not to be embarrassed by those moments. They don't mean I'm going backward. They mean that person mattered.

Grief Doesn't Mean You Stop Living

This may be one of the hardest lessons to accept. There comes a point when life begins asking something of you again. Make plans. Go somewhere. Try something new. Laugh. Celebrate. Be present. At first, those things can feel almost disloyal. You may wonder how you can enjoy your life when someone you love is no longer here to enjoy it with you. I have had to learn that grief and joy can occupy the same space. I can miss my husband and still laugh. I can have a wonderful day and still wish he were here. I can build something new without erasing what came before. The two things don't cancel each other out. Perhaps that's one of the most compassionate things we can give ourselves: permission to live without believing that living means forgetting.

And If You Are Grieving...

Please be gentle with yourself. There will be days when you feel like you're making progress. There will be days when you feel like you've gone backward. There will be days when you surprise yourself by laughing. There will be days when getting out of bed feels like an accomplishment. All of them count. You don't have to perform grief for anyone. You don't have to meet someone else's timeline.

You don't have to prove that you're healing. And you don't have to feel guilty when life eventually gives you something to smile about. Your joy does not erase your loss. Your laughter does not mean you miss them less. Your decision to keep living does not mean you have stopped loving them.

Grief Awareness Month isn't just about acknowledging that people grieve. It's about acknowledging that grief can be complicated, invisible, messy, long-lasting, and deeply personal. It is about remembering that the person who looks like they're doing fine may still be carrying something incredibly heavy. It is about giving people permission to grieve in their own way. And it is about making sure that when someone's world changes forever, they don't have to navigate every piece of what comes next by themselves.

If you're grieving, I hope you know this: You are not behind. You are not doing it wrong. You are not broken because you still miss them. And if today is a hard day, you don't have to solve tomorrow. Just get through today. One breath. One decision. One small step at a time. Because grief may change the shape of your life. But it doesn't have to take away your ability to live it.